Jumpy Nerves

During my surgery, legions of spinal nerves were cut. Additionally, other nerves were torn as the surgeon de-rotated and straightened my spine.

By the way, scoliosis is not JUST curvature of the spine. Generally, the spine also rotates. Can you detect the rotation in the spine on the right?

Extensive nerve damage was apparent right after my surgery. There was no feeling . . .
- on the left side of my abdomen
- across the lower back
- down my left thigh

Below the numb surface of my skin, there was . . .
a bon fire of pain
but I couldn't feel anything superficially.

Now, twelve weeks out,
the nerves are waking up.

This means, tingling skin. And, sometimes I get little BEE STING SENSATIONS. But they are short-lived, quite tolerable.

I also feel itchy all over. That comes and goes. MOSTLY, tolerable. Sometimes I have little episodes of needing to scratch every inch of my skin surface, like I'm covered in Poison Ivy. The sensation passes in a few minutes.

The BIG ISSUE for me is something I'd call

"Jumpy Nerves".

As long as I'm active in the day, no problem. However, I can TOSS AROUND IN THE BED FOR HOURS during the night because of these jumpy nerves. Kind of like my body is reacting to little fireworks going off. Not really painful, just something a little stronger than twitching.

Point is, SLEEP ELUDES ME.

("R" is for Really Restless)

The truth is, this situation has provided me with a fabulous opportunity! Twenty years of running a child care center and parenting solo left me no time for small pleasures such as MOVIES. I am now catching up on two decades of great films while my nerves "DO THEIR THING" and I shift around in my bed.

(YES. I have a t.v. in my bedroom, due to a generous loan from one of my neighbors. YES. I also have an almost endless supply of DVDs due to the hefty collection of yet another neighbor.)

After one or two movies, my sleep-deprived body says "Enough!" and I contentedly go to sleep.

NOTE FOR THE SCOLIOSIS CROWD: I have also found that anti-seizure/nerve drugs are helpful. Most scoli surgeons prescribe them for the exact kind of nerve problems I've outlined here. Lyrica is what I use (second generation of the drug "Neurontin", also called "Gabapentin".)



After talking with my doctor and
hiking up my dose of Lyrica
from
100 mg/daily
to 150 mg/daily,
I went from wanting to
jump, literally,
to
simply shifting around in the bed at night.

I LOVE MY SILVER LINING!
Now, I am not dreading bedtime.
I GET A MOVIE OUT OF IT!!!
Would I ever hang out and watch movies
WITHOUT my little "problem"?
Probably not.
But I'm thoroughly enjoying this experience!

Thank heavens for small graces!

Early morning sun beams
coming over the mountain behind my home.

A Body in Outrage

In my mind,
I am well aware that I CHOSE to get my back ripped apart and put back together with a truckload of titanium (scoliosis surgery).

Somehow, the message didn't get to my body.


This is how I know:

My friend Dion, a gifted healer and recent house guest, offered to give me a light massage. I graciously accepted.

No sooner did she put her hands on my lower back,
my tears started flowing.
Like the fountains of Versailles.

Soon, I was bawling uncontrollably.
There were no conscious sad thoughts involved here.
None at all.
I simply couldn't stop this deep-pitted weeping.

After the massage, I blubbered my way through the nightly jobs of taking out my contact lenses, getting into pajamas, etc.

Then, in the dark of my bedroom, I heaved yet another round of great gusty sobs. My brain was only working on 5 watts,

like a child's night-light,

because I simply couldn't process what was happening to me.

As I awoke in the morning, my first thought was "How can my surgeon feel good about himself when he goes around tearing up and rearranging human skeletons?" On some level, I was really, really mad at Dr. Boachie. Or, should I say, my body was mad at him. All of his "work" felt like a big-time violation.

I know I volunteered to have this elective and highly invasive surgery. However, the feelings of outrage still exist independent of logic. Furthermore, I had no clue that such feelings were brewing until Dion put her hands on my back. (Thank you, friend!)

Dion, on my couch with Chica the dog.

The two hours of gut-wretching sobs cleared something in my body. Of that I am certain. Perhaps it prevented me from having a serious blitz of road rage, culminating in a smash-up. Who knows?


Now, I can NOT say that I cried myself dry. Somehow, this surgery loosened the valves behind my eye faucets. Tears continue to flow easily.

I am, however, hoping that we (Dion and I) broke my only personal Hoover Dam of Angry Waters and flushed out the Big Gunk.

Life is good.

Dr. Ohenaba Boachie-Adjei may have torn me apart, but he also rebuilt me into a bionic woman with a straighter spine.

I stand in gratitude.

My Godchild Returns!

Victoria & Ginger in the Kitchen
My Canadian god daughter Victoria has come back to live with me for another year of high school. Although I've been her godmother since birth, last year we really bonded while living together.

Furthermore, Vic competently cared for me during my first two weeks home from New York. After that, I had . . .

"The Plan" provided me with a security blanket of long-term care during the first three months of recovery. Kelty and Duane (my daughter and son-in-law) were prepared to do 'over-nights' and a health care agency was scheduled to do 'day care'. Well, I really haven't needed all that intensive care. This is what I needed and continue to need: REST and lots of it! Basically, I've managed independently since Victoria left six weeks ago. Of course, I was GREATLY buoyed by calls and visits from family and friends. Plans are great, but it's good to know when to revise or toss.

Now, I'm thrilled to have my dear Victoria back. I find myself gathering energy to prepare real dinners, since she arrives at 6:30 p.m. after volleyball practice, tired and hungry. Proper meals benefit BOTH of us.

Surgery left me a bit, shall I say, 'scrawny' . The pressure is on to 'bulk up', with my physical therapist regularly charting my weight. He sings the Hallelujah Chorus when I manage to add a pound or two. Now that I'm eating meals alongside an athletic TEENAGER, I think I'll be back to proper weight* PRONTO!

* "Proper weight" is determined by taking what the scales report and SUBTRACTING 5 pounds, due to my life-time intimate companions = 18 screws and two 26" rods of titanium.

Undeniable Progress!

Just after I set my surgery date, my children simply informed me that would ALL THREE be going to New York to help me through my ordeal. A collective circle of support for me, their mom. AND, a complete role reversal, since 'The Mom' suddenly became 'The Child', depending on their care and support.

Needless to say, my kids were absolutely amazing, making enormous personal sacrifices to oversee my care. And then there were the supportive spouses, doing double duty on the home front. My daughter Kelty (above) carried the lion's share of responsibility. She stayed by my side for three weeks of intense Mommy Care. Lovingly, she ministered to me, although I was a rather challenging patient in my drug-altered, pain-riddled state. (My sister Tricia was also a great help.)

FAST FORWARD TWO MONTHS:

My children gathered 'round me once again. This time, in Utah.

Kelty, Duane, Ginger, Leah, Arian, Jill

In addition to the six family members in the above photo,
there were three more who were with us. . .

Grandson Kenneth & my two granddaughters, in embryo!

I was thrilled to discover that my recuperating body was able to RALLY for this delightful occasion of togetherness. Being sensitive to my recovery, the kids made efforts to keep things 'low key'.

On Sunday, we all attended church together and then joined forces to create a WHOOPING SUNDAY DINNER. (This was MY outrageous idea. The kids would have been happy with frozen pizza.) The menu - barbequed salmon and teriyaki chicken, home-cooked beets and carrots, fresh fruit parfait, leafy green salad, consomme rice with mushrooms and onions, crusty French bread with butter and garlic. I took the role of Project Director while the six of us chopped and tossed and cooked and laughed.

After feasting, we held a little birthday celebration for Kelty and her husband Duane. I whipped up Kelty's very favorite homemade chocolate cake with minty icing, divided it into two pans and let the birthday kids do their own decorating, which they loved.

Whew! That was considerable exertion for this gal 'in convalescence'. I sensibly cozied into bed while my kids chatted in the living room. It was important to keep reminding myself that I didn't have to be in the center of everything. When I forgot, my kids gave me gentle encouragement to rest.

On Monday, we packed into Arian's car with three rows of seats and meandered up to Sundance Ski Resort for a lunch outdoors in the fresh mountain air, a stroll by the river, and a ride up the mountain on the tram.
I actually did all this! Astonishing!!! Undeniable progress! Furthermore, I happily accepted the fact that I've needed to retreat into hibernation ever since the troops left. Sustaining high levels of energy will come . . . down the road.

Right now, I just feel grateful that our little family gathering could be home-based in PROVO, UTAH instead of at a HOSPITAL in NEW YORK CITY.